14 days ago
Rod Begbie : Report: 60 Million People You'd Never Talk To Voting For Other Guy | The Onion - The US political "system" in a nutshell: "According to an eye-opening report released Tuesday, 60 million people whom you would never talk to, would never be in a position to talk to, and wouldn't even be able to talk to if you tried will be voting for th #
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2 month ago
deusx : New Flavored Fork Adds Taste Of Ham To Every Meal | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "Get ready for ham!"
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2 month ago
Rod Begbie : Manny Ramirez Likes Red Sox's New Blue Uniforms | The Onion - "I'm also happy that they shortened the Green Monster, and painted it blue, because that wall was too tall before" [via] #
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4 month ago
Rod Begbie : The Onion | CD Sales Down, LP Sales Up: What do you think? - "I think at this point people are just fucking with the record industry as a whole." [via] #
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6 month ago
Rod Begbie : San Francisco Giants Band Together To Score Run | The Onion - I really shouldn't laugh at this, since I now work across the street from AT&T Park, but... heh. [via] #
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7 month ago
Rod Begbie : Black Guy Asks Nation For Change | The Onion - Most gloriously offensive Onion headline in a while? Perhaps. #
Greg Storey : "Black guy asks nation for change." - "What he really needs is a job."
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7 month ago
philgyford : This American Life: 348: Tough Room - Click "Full Episode" then skip forward five minutes for a quarter of an hour of 'The Onion's staff talking about what makes a story funny or not. (via Jane in Progress)
Rod Begbie : This American Life: Tough Room - Excellent segment on This American Life about The Onion's writing room. Skip about five minutes into the episode to find it. [via] #
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deusx : Mechanical Pencils Turn On Their Human Overlords | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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8 month ago
Jeremy Zawodny : Pornography-Desensitized Populace Demands New Orifice To Look At - Pornography-Desensitized Populace Demands New Orifice To Look At: 'Jaded by the sight of what it deemed "run-of-the-mill" orifices, the nation's pornography-saturated populace released a statement Monday demanding a new bodily opening to
deusx : Pornography-Desensitized Populace Demands New Orifice To Look At | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "At this point, staring at an anus, vagina, or beckoning mouth has become so commonplace that it is no more titillating than ogling, say, the human elbow"
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9 month ago
deusx : I Got What America Needs Right Here | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "You had your chance with Jimmy Carter, and you fucking blew it. So get fucked. Fucking country."
Rod Begbie : I Got What America Needs Right Here | The Onion - Jimmy Carter op-ed piece from The Onion. "You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter's rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again, because there's no way I'm ever gonna come to you fuck-knobs an #
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12 month ago
Rod Begbie : Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters | The Onion - "For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008." #
# copy12 month ago
deusx : 4 Billion Years Of Evolution Unable To Prevent Area Man From Drooling On Self | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "Nearly four billion years of biological evolution failed to prevent local man Dale Haynes from accidentally drooling all over his pant leg while sitting in his cubicle Monday."
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13 month ago
deusx : Britney Spears Leaves Mysterious Stain On The Red Carpet | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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14 month ago
deusx : New Prosthetic Fist Restores Area Man's Ability To Punch | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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14 month ago
deusx : Drunk Astronauts Let Chimp Land Shuttle | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "Drunk Astronauts Let Chimp Land Shuttle"
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14 month ago
Rod Begbie : Fucking Yankees, Reports Nation | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "Fucking Yankees," said Marshfield, MA resident and longtime Red Sox fan Lawrence Broberg, echoing the sentiments of thousands of men and woman across the nation. "Every year. Every goddamn year." [via] #
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15 month ago
deusx : 30 Percent Of Man's Wealth Tied Up In Gift Cards | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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15 month ago
deusx : Pudding Factory Disaster Brings Slow, Creamy Death To Town Below | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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15 month ago
deusx : Local Man Won't Eat Anything Unless It's On Fire | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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15 month ago
nelson : baby baby *luvya girl* - The song's main, and sole, lyrics, "Baby, baby, Luvya girl," are sung in a breathy male voice that alternates between a grunt and a falsetto.
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16 month ago
43folders : The Onion: Apple's New iPhone - "Comes with an iPhone hat, so people know you own an iPhone during the brief periods you're not using it"
Rod Begbie : Apple's New iPhone | The Onion - "When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects" [via] #
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18 month ago
deusx : White-On-White Violence Claims Life Of Accounts Receivable Supervisor | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "Herbert F. Kornfeld, 34, was an alleged accounting gang leader considered by law enforcement to be a key player in a series of ongoing office worker turf wars."
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19 month ago
deusx : Google Steps In To Help U.S. With Google Navy | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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20 month ago
Rod Begbie : Excited Red Sox Fans Eagerly Await Debut Of Matsuzaka's 'Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion' | The Onion - "His Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion breaks three feet inside before cutting sharply toward the dugout, where falsehood and cowardice are forced to shrink before it!" [via] #
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20 month ago
deusx : Temperature Of Coffee Expected To Rise Nine Degrees By End Of 21st Century | The Onion - America's Finest News Source - "A report released by the Union of Concerned Dietitians stated that not only will the temperature of coffee increase by nearly nine degrees by the end of this century, the rise is directly linked to human activity."
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